NEXT APPEARANCE...

DEC 14, 2017
Bumblefoot (one-man show) at
Hard Rock Cafe
Pittsburgh, PA
Facebook Event page
*TICKETS HERE*
*All Ages* (Under 21 with Parent / Legal Guardian)

DEC 15, 2017
Bumblefoot (one-man show) at
Top Fuel Saloon
Braidwood, IL
Facebook Event page
*TICKETS HERE*
*All Ages*

DEC 16, 2017
Bumblefoot acoustic show at
The Firehouse
Richmond, IN
Facebook Event page
*All Ages*

DEC 21, 2017
Bumblefoot (one-man show) at
Trees
Dallas, TX
Facebook Event page
*TICKETS HERE*
*All Ages*

DEC 22, 2017
Bumblefoot (one-man show) at
BFE Rock Club
Houston, TX
*TICKETS HERE*

DEC 23, 2017
Bumblefoot (one-man show) at
The Rock Box
San Antonio, TX
Facebook Event page
*TICKETS HERE*
*All Ages*

DEC 29, 2017
Bumblefoot (one-man show) at
Liquid Joe's
Salt Lake City, UT
*TICKETS HERE*
*Age 21 & over*

DEC 30, 2017
Bumblefoot (one-man show) at
The Funhouse
Seattle, WA
Facebook Event page
*TICKETS HERE*
*All Ages*

 


2018

JAN 21-25, 2018
Performing w/ "The Stowaways" All-Star band at
Shiprocked Music Cruise

FEB 3-8, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Cruise To The Edge Music Cruise

FEB 9, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Magic City Casino
Miami, FL

FEB 11, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Plaza Live
Orlando, FL

FEB 12, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Variety Theater
Atlanta, GA

FEB 13, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Cat's Cradle
Carrboro, NC

FEB 15, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
House Of Independants
Asbury Park, NJ

FEB 16, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Town Ballroom
Buffalo, NY

FEB 17, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Music Factory
Battle Creek, MI

FEB 18, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
The Forge
Joliet, IL

JUN 22, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Hellfest festival
Clisson, France

JUN 23, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Graspop festival
Dessel, Belgium

JUN 24, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Teatro Degli Arcimbodi festival
Milan, Italy

JUN 30, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Be Prog! My Friend festival
Barcelona, Spain
Facebook Event page
*TICKETS HERE*

JUL 1, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Ramblin' Man festival
Maidstone, England

JUL 14, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Dynamo Metal Fest
Eindhoven, The Netherlands
Facebook Event page
*TICKETS HERE*

AUG 18, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Prog In Park Fest
Warsaw, Poland
Facebook Event page

SEP 22, 2018
Sons Of Apollo at
Ancient Roman Theater
Plovdiv, Bulgaria
*TICKETS HERE*

 


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3 - THE MUTANT COW

OK, so I had the LesPaul rip-off and the Ibanez Artist, but nothing I could play Van Halen on. This was the early 80's and not alot of guitar companies were putting out guitars with Floyd Rose or Kahler vibrato bars on them that I knew of, so for my 13th birthday I got a '57 Fender Stratocaster re-issue.

(photo taken Oct 30th, 1982)

I was psyched. It was a beautiful guitar. But the pickups squealed and had no sustain, and every time I touched the vibrato bar, the guitar would go out of tune. The fretboard was all glossy and curved, and it just didn't feel right. In the other 2 guitars I'd put in DiMarzio Super-Distortion pickups, so the first renovation I made on this guitar was to chisel away the wood around the bridge pickup and put one in there. Over the next few years, I earned money re-wiring people's guitars and gathered alot of extra junk. Ya know, junk is only junk to someone that has no use for the stuff. Eventually I replaced the old nut with a locking nut.

I always loved "B" movies. Low-budget horror movies and weird stuff. Check out the movie Gummo. I remember when I saw the movie "The Funhouse" with my friends, we were about 11 or 12 - back when kids could get into movie theaters without having to be 17 and shit. One kid sat through the whole movie with his hands over his eyes saying "Tell me when it's over..." - that kid was always taking the fun out of stuff. We'd be in the pool and he'd be clinging to the edge for dear life and wouldn't let go. (we're talking a small above-ground pool where the water's up to your chest when ya stand up) - if ya suggested that he try walking to the middle of the pool he'd panic and say "I gotta go home" and scurry out of the pool and run home. Real hard to stay friends with the kid, which sucked cause we had alot of common interests.

I remember when we were 15 I tried to hook him up with this cute girl - we were all hangin' in my basement and I said something funny. As he laughed, his ass laughed too and busted out this phat trombone hit. His face turned blue-ish white and he lowered his head and covered his face with his hands (kinda like when he was at the movies covering his face 4 years earlier) He must have sat like that for a good ten minutes. Probably the longest ten minutes of his life.

Jump ahead to late 1987. One of the scenes in "The Funhouse" stuck in my head, when the kids were checking out the freak show - they were lookin' at this cow, the cow turned its head and there was a second small mutated head growing off it. The Stratocaster would be my interpretation of that cow. I took a bass neck, pulled off the frets and cut the neck across at the 7th fret. I re-fretted the small neck with a spacing similar to a guitar's starting at the 12th fret. I put guitar tuners on the top of the neck and a locking nut. I bored out a section of the Stratocaster's body and attached the neck, and cut away wood to attach a pickup and a Badass bridge, set at the proper distance from the neck so the frets would intonate properly at 1-octave higher than a standard guitar (the strings on the little neck were tuned an octave higher.) I wired in a 3-way toggle switch to select either or both necks, and cut a whole straight through the body where the old input jack was, just for the fuck of it. Painted the guitar red on the front, blue on the back, and set a gold watch-on-a-chain into the body.

My fondest memory of this guitar was when I played with my old cover band "Leonard Nimoy." We played Aerosmith, AC/DC, Kiss, Scorpions, 70's covers... The drummer was great - he was real heavy, and at the end of every song he'd fall back into his chair exhausted, covered in sweat like he just ran a marathon. The other guitarist was a bit heavy too and would roll around the floor on his stomach. Funny band. We just didn't give a fuck. We'd put up flyers around High Schools advertising the band - the name "Leonard Nimoy" written in Star Trek lettering to make people think Spock was making an appearance somewhere, followed by a personal ad from a swingers magazine of a naked fat woman bent over showin' her shit, with a written description of her measurements and what she's looking for in a partner. Always a different ad for each gig, but they always loved anal.
At one gig in Brooklyn at L'Amour, it was the end of the show and I bent the highest note on the little neck and kept holding it, making it scream. It was so piercing and everyone in the audience held their ears in pain. So I just kept on ringing it out. And they kept holding their ears. Must have gone on for a good ten minutes - probably the longest ten minutes ever spent at L'Amour. I was such a dick. It was the 80's - everyone was a dick.

 

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