Most all of us dirty guitar players have, at least once in our oft unappreciated existence, pondered the truly unanswerable question, "Who is the greatest guitarist of all time?"

We've groaned when our favorite player wasn't picked in a "Top 100!" list, even though we were well aware that it was trite, wholly meaningless bullshit concocted by hipsters and douchebags (which, by the way, are one and the same).  

We've argued with our fellow guitarists, perhaps even calling them "morons", "fools", or even "British", simply because their opinions were not parallel to ours.  

Well, quarrel no more, my guitar-lovin' chums. I have the answer to the aforementioned "unanswerable question." And it comes in the form of a fat, hairy, thimble-sporting Jew from New York named Ron Thal.

Quite simply, Ron Thal is a goddamn genius. (We'll divulge evidence of this later). Thal (a.k.a. Bumblefoot) has been making music for essentially his whole life, his first major release being "The Adventures of Bumblefoot (and Other Tales of Woe...)" which came out on Shrapnel Records in 1995. He stayed with Shrapnel through his second CD, "Hermit", in 1997, but escaped from the Hell that is business with Mike Varney soon afterward. He's done things completely independently ever since, releasing "Hands" (1998), "9.11" (2001), "Uncool" (2002), and "Forgotten Anthology" (2003) on his own label, "Hermit, Inc.".

Each and every one of Bumblefoot's CD's features a vast array of styles -- a truly unprecedented amount of diversity -- while sharing a sound that is all his own. His music is both beautiful and abrasive, raw and emotional, hilarious and brilliant. Basically -- the type of stuff that is undescribable, unless an excessive amount of adjectives are utilized. Well, you could always shorten the description to two basic words -- pure genius -- but I believe I mentioned that earlier, and I'd rather not repeat myself because the higher the number of large words I use, the more intelligent I seem. And, if I'm not mistaken, that's how you get pussy.*
From a guitarist's standpoint, Mr. Thal creates sounds that are almost unimaginable. He is a master of the instrument, including being well-versed in classical and jazz playing. However, 'tis on the electric guitar that Ronald unleashes a plethora of his own innovative techniques, some of which will be discussed on the next page. Even though he's too modest to admit it (and for that character trait, I have oodles of respect for him), there's absolutely nothing he couldn't play, which means he is completely free of any technical barrier that would infringe upon his artistic expression.

Most importantly, Bumblefoot conveys a certain feeling through his music that is often lacking in the over-produced, pseudo-computerized sound of progressive music. His music is filled to the brim with the sweet, lukewarm milk that is attitude. Ahh -- so refreshing. Straight from the teet.

*I'm mistaken

Copyright The Essential Guitar Team 2003

NEXT: Essential Bumblefoot Licks