APR 5, 2018
Monterrey, Mexico

APR 6, 2018
Circo Volador
Mexico City, Mexico

APR 8, 2018
Teatro Teleton
Santiago, Chile

APR 10, 2018
Palermo Groove
Buenos Aires, Argentina

APR 12, 2018
Porto Alegre, Brazil

APR 14, 2018
Tropical Butanta
Sao Paulo, Brazil

APR 15, 2018
Music Hall
Belo Horizonte, Brazil



APR 19, 2018
Corona Theatre
Montreal, QC, Canada

APR 20, 2018
The Opera House
Toronto, ON, Canada

APR 21, 2018
The Intersection
Grand Rapids, MI

APR 22, 2018
Delmar Hall
St. Louis, MO

APR 24, 2018
Granada Theater
Lawrence, KS

APR 25, 2018
Summit Music Hall
Denver, CO

APR 27, 2018
Brooklyn Bowl
Las Vegas, NV

APR 28, 2018
Ace Of Spades
Sacramento, CA

APR 29, 2018
Hawthorne Theatre
Portland, OR

APR 30, 2018
The Showbox
Seattle, WA

MAY 2, 2018
The Regency Ballroom
San Francisco, CA

MAY 3, 2018
Belasco Theater
Los Angeles, CA

MAY 4, 2018
House Of Blues
Anaheim, CA

MAY 5, 2018
Marquee Theatre
Tempe, AZ

MAY 7, 2018
Alamo City Music Hall
San Antonio, TX

MAY 8, 2018
Canton Hall
Dallas, TX

MAY 9, 2018
Scout Bar
Houston, TX

MAY 11, 2018
3rd & Lindsley
Nashville, TN

MAY 12, 2018
Arcada Theater
St. Charles, IL

MAY 13, 2018
Varsity Theater
Minneapolis, MN

MAY 15, 2018
House Of Blues
Cleveland, OH

MAY 16, 2018
Theatre Of Living Arts
Philadelphia, PA

MAY 18, 2018
PlayStation Theater
New York City, NY

MAY 19, 2018
The Palladium
Worcester, MA

MAY 20, 2018
The Howard Theatre
Washington DC

MAY 26, 2018
Centro de Bellas Artes Luis A. Ferre
San Juan, Puerto Rico



JUN 22, 2018
Hellfest festival
Clisson, France

JUN 23, 2018
Graspop festival
Dessel, Belgium

JUN 24, 2018
Teatro Degli Arcimbodi festival
Milan, Italy

JUN 27, 2018
Leipzig, Germany

JUN 30, 2018
Be Prog! My Friend festival
Barcelona, Spain
Facebook Event page

JUL 1, 2018
Ramblin' Man festival
Maidstone, England

JUL 2, 2018
Motherwell Concert Hall
Motherwell, England

JUL 3, 2018
Belfast, N. Ireland

JUL 4, 2018
Tivoli Theatre
Dublin, Ireland

JUL 6, 2018
Helgeafestivalen festival
Knislinge, Sweden

JUL 14, 2018
Dynamo Metal Fest
Eindhoven, The Netherlands
Facebook Event page

AUG 3, 2018
Wacken Open Air festival
Wacken, Germany

AUG 18, 2018
Prog In Park Fest
Warsaw, Poland
Facebook Event page

AUG 19, 2018
Barba Negra
Budapest, Hungary



SEP 10, 2018
Big Cat
Osaka, Japan

SEP 11, 2018
Liquid Room
Tokyo, Japan

SEP 12, 2018
Liquid Room
Tokyo, Japan



SEP 15, 2018
Raismes Fest
Raismes, France

SEP 19, 2018
Moscow, Russia

SEP 22, 2018
Ancient Roman Theater
Plovdiv, Bulgaria

SEP 24, 2018
Fuzz Club
Athens, Greece

SEP 30, 2018
The Garage
Glasgow, Scotland




This was my first electric guitar, after I was playing for 2 years in 1978. It was an imitation Les Paul, by a company called "Pace" - I've never seen anything else by the company. It was the cheapest guitar at the music store I was taking guitar lessons at.
(photo taken 1978)

The guitar went through many changes - my friend John had shiny "prism tape" that made colorful reflections - I cut out the shape of the pickguard, forward and reverse, and made a pickguard and reverse-pickguard shape with the tape on the guitar.

Years later I cut away the wood to a strange shape and painted the guitar red. There was a sharp edge in the shape that would bother me when I played. My mom had an old coat with fake fur. I cut up her coat and covered the guitar in fur.

(photo taken August 19, 1986)

A few years after this, the fur was destroyed and had shed all over, and it was time for another change...

As a young child, I would create potions, combining anything I could find. Me and my psychopath friends referred to them as "concoctions." In my backyard, there was a crack in the cement steps near the grass, and there were always ants crawling in and out of the crack. These two key elements in my youth led to my goal in life - to find a way to relocate these ants with one of my special "concoctions." I tried any combination of ingredients that seemed logical - ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, bleach, milk and piss. I'd pour it in the cement cracks and wait. 3 days later, the ants would be crawling in and out, unaffected by my concoction. They obviously had superior strength. I had to try harder - orange juice, spit, baking soda, glass cleaner, glue, shoe polish, and melted crayons. Ya see, the key to knowing a good concoction is the Smell Test. If you smell the concoction in a cup from 4 inches away, you should gag 2 or three times, and then another 2 times from the memory of what you just smelled. If not, you didn't make the shit strong enough. The puke reaction was definitely relative to the amount of onion and garlic powder - mix that with Coca-Cola, some sulfur and other shit from the chemistry set I had (birthday gift), and you're guaranteed 6-and-a-half good dry-heaves - 3 from the actual smell, the third making a genuine hacking sound, another 2 from thinking of the ingredients, and the last one-and-a-half as an instant flashback to the smell, and the hacking sound ya just made replaying in your head. Anyway, back to my story. I had to try harder and I did. I emptied a little bit of everything I could find in the refrigerator, kitchen cabinets, cleaners under the kitchen sink, bathroom sink, and anything I can add from my own person. Yo - who the fuck says "my person" - that's asking for a fight. "The shoehorn is on my person." If you regularly use the term "on my person", hit yourself for me. Anyway again, I combined all that stuff and came up with the greatest batch of concoction I could ever invent. I *knew* this shit was gonna work. I was gagging from 2 feet away. I held that shit far away from me and held my breath and brought it out to the yard, trying not to think of the ingredients so I don't gag another 2 times, and poured it in the cracks.

The ants never came back.

My only mistake was that I never wrote down the ingredients. After that, I reached my height of success and retired from the concoction business. It was time to find a new goal.

I forgot why I was mentioning this story - it had something to do with the guitar. Oh yeah - around 1988 I was forced to come out of concoction retirement, in a quest to find the perfect substance to use when building guitars. I came up with this shit that was perfect - the only side effect was that some of the ingredients would travel up your skin and you'd itch for hours, just from touching your finger to the can of it. The main ingredients were sawdust, fiberglass dust, and epoxy resin. Combine that together and it'll outlive your grandkid's roach collection. I put a layer of the stuff onto the guitar neck after I removed the frets, and then stuck a bunch of coins onto the neck. After it hardened, I filed down the sides of the coins that stuck out, and had $4.63 on the neck. I cut away the body some more, and put the Les Paul-style tailpiece at an angle sticking out of the edge of the body, and wired 1 DiMarzio super-distortion pickup and 1 volume knob onto the body. Then I took an old magazine and put pictures of penguins all over the body, and painted over them with polyurethane. I use a thin rope attached to a tuning peg as the guitar strap, because of the light body that makes the guitar "neck heavy". I then typed on a little piece of paper with my Commodore64 computer's dot-matrix printer, and made a label that said "Bad Ronald - The Pensive Expenguin" and polyurethaned it onto the guitar's head. That's the name of this guitar.



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